I had more page views than I ever expected to have the other day.... I'm not sure how exactly to feel about that: gratefulness or fear. Or maybe both are permitted.
I have Major Depression. "Big whoop", right? I am also Bipolar. Along with having Borderline Personality Disorder. And Dissociation Disorder, OCD, Anxiety, and Impulse Disorder. Phew. Glad to get that list out in the open. I'm a crazy bitch, and I know this. But you know what's funny? The fact that I know I'm sick helps me none whatsoever in fixing the problem. I learn skills and go through therapy and take medicine.... but yet, I'm still a crazy fucked-up bitch on the inside.
I don't think anyone ever truly finds a cure with themselves in these types of disorders. I think we merely learn how to manage it well enough on the outside so that we fit in. The feelings, the panic, the aches, the death.... it's all still there. It still exists within me. But maybe if we just complain about it less, we're "better".
God, I hate life sometimes.
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